The Takeaways
Stepping back down 2022’s memory lane, the takeaways were pretty clear. It will be up to me to implement my learns and hoping there are some learns for you too.
Life happens so quickly and the older I get, the more I am aware of this notion for some reason. It’s funny how when we’re young, it feels like we’re just waiting on life to happen. The “one day I’m gonna” fills our speeches and our imaginations. Then one day we’re there; we wake up with a blurred recollection of how we got here and how time just seemed to get snatched from under our feet. The “one day I’m gonna” gets replaced with the “I wish I was” or the even more elaborate “what I would do with my knowledge now if I were young again”. But what would we have done with the knowledge? Isn’t our life an ever-changing product of our learns and mistakes?
Another year passes by, another chance for humanity to reminisce. I say chance because it’s an opportunity presented to all and taken by few. What separates us from our childhood is this opportunity. Our dance with time doesn’t have to be so fast if we allow ourselves this chance of observation and humility to learn.
So here are some of my observations of my past year as a person, as a creative, as a wife and as an entrepreneur.
1.
“We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.” - Iris Murdoch
EVERYTHING RACES TO COMPETE FOR OUR ATTENTION
From the minute we open our eyes to the minute we go right back to that pillow, we are in a constant biding war over who gets us first and who gets us now. We support this even more by buying into unhealthy routines that, sub-consciously, we dream to one day get out of. It isn’t uncommon to reach for your phone right from your bed, check your emails, check the news, weather, social media and get lost even before the day has truly begun. Then throughout the day, without giving it a thought, a notification pops up from this app or that app, wanting your attention now.. right now! Your drive to work is bombarded with thoughts about conversations, meetings, plans and who’s gonna get what piece of you today. Next thing you know you’re already at work without giving a thought as to how you got there. The days blur together, passing by without uniqueness and we wonder what happened to the time, wishing to one day slow down and read that book.
MY TAKEAWAY:
Why don’t I compete for my own attention? Where’s my horse in this race? I need to pay myself first before paying others with my time and this starts by making small changes towards the things I want to do for myself and not for the benefit of some company’s stats, sales or media kits. The world won’t end if my morning routine didn’t start with a phone and instead started with a meditation. To allow my brain a break and focus on feeling my body and filling my soul with gratitude and positivity. To read something enriching instead of scrolling through endless reels of other people’s lives. To set an intention on being present, truly present in every moment of that day and allowing my participation if I choose so, not as a creature of habit evolved out of my own artificial intelligence.
2.
“Dreams and reality are opposites. Action synthesizes them.” Assata Shakur
CREATIVITY IS A NURTURED GIFT.
As a child, I was involved in all sorts of activities; ballet, dance, swimming, gymnastics, piano, art, computer and language classes. I forget that. I forget that I wasn’t born with talents in all these categories, I learned and nourished them often.. very often. Then we get older and our history becomes our resume and unless our job demands it, we stop practicing the things that keep us creative. Then we wonder, what happened to our creativity? Part of it is the time suck piece I mentioned earlier but the other part of it is a subliminal thought that whatever knowledge we have is good enough for the rest of our lives. Every master in their trade will preach the power of practice, that while some learns are never lost, new learns are never found either.
MY TAKEAWAY:
I am a creative being but I, too, often fall into the trap of using that creativity within the confinement of work. To truly be myself, I need to nurture the pieces that get neglected if no parent is present to push me into attending “the activity”. To dance, draw, swim, play piano, learn a new skill or language.. allow my brain the experiences of challenging myself for fun and not only for money.
3.
“Find the life underneath your life situation.” Ekhart Tolle
LOVE IS HARD WORK.
I’m not talking about the puppy love phase we go through in cycles because our chemicals are out of whack. I’m talking about love, true love, the listen-with-compassion kind, the let-me-put-my-emotions-and-ego-aside kind. Maybe, to some, relationships come easy but if you’re like me, a stubborn, skeptical, emotional with a put-yourself-first attitude, then relationships are a difficult concept. In the past, I have treated love like I treated jobs, if I’m over it, I move on. “It” can be anything.. could be the love, could be the passion, could be a personality trait I dislike, a family member I don’t want to deal with or huge differences in opinion.. whatever it was, when it presented itself, that was my clue. Then came my second half and he’s probably the most difficult human being I know and we probably have the most difficult relationship I’ve been in simply because we spend almost all of our time together, we don’t have children and we work together; the trifecta for everything people warn you NOT to do in a marriage. But why is he different? Everything that “it” presents.. presented itself. Why haven’t I left?
MY TAKEAWAY:
We work at our marriage. We work for our love. There’s nothing that’s too silly to try and nothing that’s too stupid to say. We allow ourselves to be fully ourselves with each other; accepting the emotional, psycho and depressing moments not as who we are but as a reaction to circumstances. He teaches me to see things through his eyes, to slow down and listen, accept feedback not as a flaw in my personality but as suggestions for improving my life. He makes me want to be a better wife. I teach him how to take risks and step outside of his comfort zone, that he’s amazing at anything he puts his mind to and not be shackled down by negative people or situations. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a constant work in progress but our will to work on it is what fuels our love to grow stronger.
4.
“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brené Brown
THE TERRIBLE TWO’S OF OWNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS ARE NO JOKE!
Oddly enough, very similar to the terrible two’s of a child. As a business, you’re just starting to really learn how to run and develop your own language. You’re finding your fit within your niche much like a child finds their fit within the family. And much like a child, you will fall and fail. We fell hard last year. I put away my gut instinct, the same instinct that pushed me to quit my career, to trust my skill and be innovative. As a consequence, we made huge mistakes that almost cost us our company, our happiness and even our marriage. That looming depression lasted all the way through New Year’s, not even the holidays could snap us out of it. The toughest part was moving on and not consistently thinking about what we could have done differently or how we were wronged. Getting past our ego of deserving better and actually realizing that we’re only two.
MY TAKEAWAY:
For one, to trust my gut more often but more importantly to look at every fail as a pathway to growth. I want a company that cherishes the fails as part of its overall masterpiece. To use these challenges to develop the company’s personality, much like a two year old molding their character through life’s progression. Who cares if we fail, what does a fail even mean? Some of the most influential humans and greatest triumphs arose out of failures. Our willingness to be flexible and bend with the obstacles is what shapes our journey and gives it character. Avoiding and escaping them by not learning or taking risks, is what keeps our road boring and uninspiring.